Life is an adventure.
Many of us have heard the expression: "It's not about the destination; it's about the journey."
Their lives were many series of journeys. They had wonderful adventures ... and a few misadventures as well.
For example, my grandmother is the only woman I know who would decide to do battle with a cricket ... and lose. I learned from her that no ideal was too small or insignificant to attempt to go after, even in the face of certain failure. With determination, anyone can "fail" with dignified purpose.
Again, it wasn't about killing the cricket (although, I'm sure to her at the time that was the desired outcome); it was about having a story to tell afterwards. That if you never even try, how will you ever learn that not only can the cricket get away, but that it can also draw blood and almost knock you unconscious.
See, she had the cricket cornered in the basement and, with 2-by-4 in hand, she stood up straight suddenly to deliver the killing blow. Only she hadn't noticed the metal water pipe running directly above her head.
I also learned from that particular encounter that even something that seems like a sure thing might actually not be. That life has a way of throwing in unexpected curve balls, and when it does, you carry on anyway. My grandmother was fond of clichés and the one in particular she would often quote to me is "no use crying over spilled milk." And I can't recall a time when either of my grandparents ever did.
It's not that they were cold, uncaring and distant. Far from it. When I lived with them, every morning when I'd get up to go to school, I'd come downstairs to the kitchen to have breakfast. And every morning, without fail, I would find a setting at the kitchen table. They'd have a place mat set up with an empty bowl, a spoon, a box of cereal, and the sugar bowl. On the counter the kettle was filled and ready to go, and a mug with a teabag in it sat next to the kettle. Everything was set up just waiting for me. I never asked them to do this; I never expected them to do this. I think they were mindful of the journey I was on and they wanted me to know that not only were they thinking about me, but that they were also willing to do even little things to make my journey just a little bit easier.
From that, I learned that no gesture is ever too small to show kindness and consideration to another.
I remember several years later being invited over to their home for Christmas dinner. I arrived on Christmas Eve after having spent a long day at work whereby my co-workers and I were celebrating the upcoming holidays with some wine tasting. By the time I got to my grandparents' house, I was quite tipsy. And I did not feel very well. I remember entering their home and saying hello and then announcing that I was, in fact, drunk. Even though my grandmother often gave the impression that she was concerned about appearances and "being proper," she was also someone who had a lot of common sense. Without missing a beat, she asked me if I'd like to go lie down and take a nap. Oh, yes, please! Like I said before, I was not feeling very well.
After I slept for a couple of hours I came out into the kitchen where my grandparents had, again, set up a mug with a teabag in it and beside that was a little plate with two tylenols sitting on it. They never said another word to me about it.
From that, I learned that sometimes natural consequences can be a better teacher than a lecture. I also learned from them that there is no point in kicking a person when they are down. They saw me on one of my
"misadventures" and didn't judge me for it. They respected me enough to have the confidence that I'd learn from my own mistakes. And I did. Mostly.
They travelled the world and through life together. We should all be so lucky to have lived so well and have someone to share that with. From them, I've learned how to journey well.
Even now, I don't believe they've reached their destination. They've just embarked on a whole new adventure.
I wish them "Bon Voyage."
