In my spare time, I proof and scope court and discovery transcripts. Okay; proofing is easy to figure out, but what is scoping? Scoping is when the rough transcript comes and you have an audio file and you listen along while going through the transcript correcting any spelling mistakes and filling in any words that were missed. Once the transcript has been scoped, it's then sent on to a proofer who makes sure the whole thing is squeaky clean and sparkly.
Basically, proofing and scoping are fancy ways of saying "a court reporter's assistant." And by "assistant," think Igor to Dr. Frankenstein. "Yes, Master. Right away, Master."
So what's it like to be a court reporter's assistant? It's a fun, exciting and glamourous job. I get to dress up and travel the world.
I think I can almost hear all the court reporters, scopers and proofers laughing their asses off right now. All right. So the truth is I'm actually wearing my pyjamas and daydreaming about other places I could be and other things I could be doing. But that counts, doesn't it?
Yes, sometimes - most times - the transcripts can be excruciatingly boring. Anyone up for six hours of expert accountant testimony? Yeah? Great! Let's turn that into a week.
But most of the time I learn stuff I didn't know I didn't know. For example, I know about "shy distance" and how to build a log cabin. Two things that aren't related to each other, by the way, unless you're attempting to build a log cabin while driving down the road. Now there's a transcript I look forward to working on!
Everyone I know who does this job - and who doesn't run away screaming right at the beginning - is a little strange. We can talk with each other for hours about how people speak versus how it comes out on the printed page. And it actually interests us!
For example, it amuses me that the stereotype of Canadians is that they say the word "eh" a lot. I actually very rarely encounter that word in a transcript. The word "sorry," however, will pop up several times on every page.
I am endlessly fascinated by how Canadians use the word "sorry." I've heard some folks from other geographical locations comment on how polite Canadians are and how they're always apologizing for things. Fact is that there is no actual apology being given 95% of the time the word "sorry" is used. At least not in a nice way. "Sorry, I disagree," translates to the insult "I'm sorry you're such a moron, but my opinion is educated and superior to yours."
Canadians will use "sorry" as an interjection: "Sorry, I was here first." Means the same as "Hey, I was here first," but also means "Sorry you're such a moron, but I was here first." So it can do double duty as an attention getter as well as an insult.
But Canadians will often say it without thinking at all. It becomes just a fluff word like "like." "Like, I was going, like, up the road when, like, this guy, like, waved at me," in Canadian comes out as "Sorry, I was going, sorry, up the road when, sorry, this guy, like, waved at me." Canadians will use the word "like" too.
"Sorry?" That's the same as "Pardon me?" If it's spoken softly and the inflection goes quite high at the end, it means "Excuse me, I couldn't hear you. Please say that again." If it's spoken loudly and the inflection doesn't go quite that high, it means "What the fuck did you just say to me?"
Quick test. You bump into a Canadian and they say "Sorry," what are they actually saying?
a) I'm sorry I was in your way.
b) I'm sorry you're such a moron and couldn't see me standing here.
For a more scholarly analysis on the Canadian usage of "Sorry" go here. See? I wasn't kidding when I said this kind of stuff intrigues me.
